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Are You Encouraging Your Husband

by on January 26, 2012

I was on the elliptical working out that morning when I began to pray for my husband, “Lord, make him strong.” He was going through such a rough time after getting laid off from work. He wasn’t able to eat or sleep. He was weak and he was broken. As I was praying for him the Lord spoke to me, “This is where I want him—broken”. When I finished my workout I went to my husband and apologized.

This was the single hardest time in my life. Not because of finances, we had been through that trial before and God showed himself faithful. It was the physical and emotional toll it took on him, and I wasn’t sure how to encourage him. I wanted so badly for him to be better, to be strong during this trial. I didn’t understand it when he said, “I know God’s Word, I am standing on it, but my body doesn’t seem to be listening.” But looking back on it all, God was doing a work in my husband… and within me as well.

Here are some things I realized during this season that might help someone else going through a similar experience.

  1. Continue to pray God’s Word over your husband. I know in trying to encourage him I said a lot of things that probably didn’t help. What you don’t want to do is make him feel less of a Christian for not getting better when you think he should. The more you pray the Word over your husband, the more you will speak it.
  2. Be there for him. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 it says, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.” There were many times during this season that I could tell my husband just wanted to be near me to know that I was with him in all of this. He knew it was hard on me too; he just needed to know that we were still okay.
  3. Don’t lose hope. God is faithful. Sometimes in the midst of a hard season we can’t see the light on the other side. We wonder if things will ever change. I have to admit I wasn’t the strongest during this season. At one point the thought entered my mind, What if he doesn’t get better? I don’t want to live like this the rest of my life. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” Dare to dream.
  4. Encourage him to talk to a pastor or a friend. Through it all, my husband called our pastor several times to share what he was experiencing. Later, a friend that experienced something similar prayed over him. It meant so much to my husband that he wasn’t the only one or the only “Christian” that had felt this way.

This trial opened my eyes to see that I have a very important role as a wife. I am to be an encourager, not only when he is going through the hardest time of his life, but day to day as we journey together.

What are some ways that you have encouraged your husband either through a difficult time or on a daily basis?

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2 Comments
  1. Joan permalink

    Isn’t it amazing that going through the valley is when we grow the most. When we learn to trust the most, when we lean on the Lord, the most. Even though your situation is different than anything I have gone through, it is uplifting because we all go through those “rough times” in our lives, and the Lord always always remains faithful. Good Advise Alethea!

  2. Alethea, I really appreciate this wisdom. You guys are incredible- even in the midst of that season, gosh, you ministered to us sooo much. Knowing that you guys clung to the word and continued to do what you were called to do… when we were having a rough time in Texas, you would often come to our minds and hearts because of the example you set for us.

    I think it is important to not forget what God called you to do and to keep doing it. Even when circumstances change and the resources aren’t there for comfort or even emotional or physical security, regardless, to keep hoping, and don’t stop living out what the Lord told you to do.

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